BackFriends With Benefits: What You Need to Know
So, are you the type of person who likes to delve into a casual, no-strings attached kind of relationship? Stress-free, no commitment, no expectations---just SEX.
For most people - especially guys - this, in fact, is the ideal kind of arrangement. Just get in, get off and get out. No need for expensive dates or to buy pricey presents or to have to sit through a chick flick just ‘coz your partner wants to do it. You don’t need to set your best foot forward yet you’re getting the good stuff. That’s what really matters, right? But before you decide to embark on this “Friends with Benefits” sort of relationship, you must know that it entails a set of rules that needs to be followed in order for you to enjoy the utmost benefits of playing with fire without getting yourself burned.
I know you’ve heard a lot about what to do and what not to do in a FWB relationship. Don’t bother yourself with following all of these rules ‘coz they will only confuse the hell out of you. However, there’s a few you have to stick to - no matter what happens - and make them your guide to having a commitment-free, worry-free sex life. Obey and you’ll never go astray!
Rule #1: Don’t fall in love. It’s the first and most important rule of all. Break it and you’re toast. Well, not really… But still... In fact, technically, you can - if it’s inevitable - but bear in mind, you’re subjecting yourself to pain and neglect more than you think you know. If your partner feels the same way, then hurray! But more often than not, that is not the case. This relationship is designed to be purely physical. If you’re one to fall in love by physical contact or intimacy, this “arrangement” is clearly not for you. Fall in love, if you must, but remember, it’s all at your own discretion.
Rule #2: Don’t be friends with benefits with an actual friend. You can, as a matter of fact, look at this in two ways. It’s either an advantage or a disadvantage. It is indeed very beneficial to be friends with benefits with a close friend. You can have sex as often as you like without feeling like a slut since you’re doing it with a person you actually know. The other person knows you well enough to have an idea about what makes you tick and gets you turned on, and it works both ways. You hang out, watch movies, have coffee, have fun together minus the hassle and weight that comes along with being in a relationship. And what else is more exciting than having a kinky little secret with one of your buddies without the rest of your friends knowing? Convenient, right? But I don’t think it’s strictly following the “No Strings Attached” concept.
Here, let me help you see the bigger picture. See, there is a fine line between being friends and being lovers. If you’re in a sexual relationship with a friend, you are actually stepping over that line. Things could easily go out of hand from there and one day, you might find yourself having a hard time isolating your feelings about being “just friends” and wanting something more. Remember, sex is the easiest way to ruin a friendship. Weigh things out and ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”
Rule #3: Don’t act like your relationship is more serious than it is. No cuddling. No going on dates. No going to parties or weddings together. Do not introduce a friend with benefits to your friends. Do not text unless it’s a sext. Don’t fuss when they go on dates with other people. Do not expect more from the other person if you don’t want to be slapped in the face with the cruel reality that you have NO right to do so. The more you keep your relationship as casual as it is, the easier for you to keep it intact. No hard feelings.
Rule #4: Talk about your relationship. Like any other contract or agreement, this one needs to be prearranged. Set things straight. You have to be clear about what you want and how you want this relationship to be. Don’t just dive in without weighing down the odds. You both need to know your boundaries. This way, you’ll have a higher chance of saving yourself from getting caught in a hot mess of broken hearts and crushed hopes.
Rule #5: Know when to stop. When you’re starting to feel something towards the other person, when you get jealous, when you start looking for attention, when your friend with benefits finally gets into a serious relationship------it’s time to back off! Although you’re only having sex with the person, it’s still wrong to maintain an intimate connection with him when he is attached. It’s unethical. It goes by the saying, “Don’t go messing around with someone else’s man”. It’s disrespectful to their relationship. If you don’t have any serious intentions with the person, might as well let him go. If it’s just sex you’re looking for, don’t worry ‘coz it’s easy to find. And if all else fails, there’s still a whole lot of fun in solo adventures!